[Fizban]

I mean truly read them (except when you are horny, of course. ) and feel that they add something to the plot of the story and don't just exist to add to word count?

It seems to me that in recent years as the erotica genre grows, the sex scenes in non-erotica romance books actually become less important; not needed for the purpose of plot. The majority of the time those scenes could be cut down to something along the line of having the couple begin to take off their clothes, do a cut scene, and have them basking in the aftermath without the plot suffering at all. To me, that is the definition of an unnecessary scene: it doesn't advance the plot in its current form. They really exist solely to give the book an "R" rating*.

I'll share a deep dark secret here: the majority of the time I just skim lightly through all of the sex regardless of gender/grouping to get back to the plot and don't feel I've missed a thing. Honestly...they all start to blur together after awhile as there are only so many ways to write about inserting tab A into various slots - it really takes some doing to catch my eye and get me to truly read a sex scene any more unless I'm just really "in the mood" so to speak (and for those times, I usually turn to erotica** )

In a romance book - heck, even in an erotica book - I believe the sex needs to actually add something to the plot - there needs to be a reason for all of the details other than to be arousing. A scar noticed that will be important later; an off-hand comment made; a fear that needs to be addressed - things that make it more than just a "time to get our rocks off" moment. It has to be more than just the author thinking "I've gone 15 pages with no sex, time for another multi-page sex scene" which seems to be the motivation for so many of them now.

I just don't think that as we move further and further into a time when sex - in all its variations - is no longer a taboo subject that we need to give up the concept of ROMANCE and LOVE. We as readers need to demand that RELATIONSHIP still drive the plot of our romance and erotica stories and not just situations where everything is just tabs and slots coming together for no purpose other than titillation (after all, we've got porn for that).

Okay...off my soapbox now.

*For non-Americans unfamiliar with our movie rating system, an "R" rating is considered a movie for "mature audiences" due to violence or sexual content.

**Even then most of the time I usually find myself more aroused by how the couple/group relate to each other outside of actual sex. The Tymber D@lton Deep Space Mission Corps MMMF books (highly recommended, btw) are a good example: you can SEE the caring and love that already exists between the three men and that is growing between them and the woman as they work with each other, meeting each others' needs and desires, and for me that means that when the sex scenes do take place it is a validation of the relationship(s) and not just a "hey, we're horny, let's have sex" situation.

[PENNY05]

I too skim through the sex. I enjoy reading a book that has a plot. A story that takes you away to a different time and place and makes you believe it. I like gut renching love stories.

[Weelee]

I too skim the more: as I call them: "boring bits" ..

Some are a good read and it fits with how the book makes me feel ... where others I just think "awwww come on get on with it" and I search out the continuing story line

I often end up reading some of the more "humourous" sex scenes ..but when they try to create a deep meaningful scene, it often tends to drag on too long and I'm flipping through about 10 pages of Groan worthy sex , looking for the next captivating chapter

Come on Authors ... a book needs to keep us interested with a good plot ....

Its a wee bit like watching a Movie V reading a book .... the book is always better ... cause we don't need it slapping us in the face .... we have our own visuals ...and they are often greater than the actual picture drawn for us.

[Fizban]

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets bored with the over-drawn sex scenes!

And yes - I agree that our own visuals are usually much better than when all of the details are laid out for us. And sometimes it's the little things that can really catch you out. One of my all-time favorite "hot" scenes is quoted below and it's from a book set in the Regency period. I always get a shiver when I read it even though there's actually little more than a hug going on. In the scene, the couple has broken into a lawyer's office to go through his files. Now...brace yourselves - it's MF but I promise no girly bits are mentioned.

She was tall enough to reach the top shelf but, in this room, she hadn’t been able to grip the boxes, only touch them. At full stretch, she’d coaxed a stack of boxes to the edge of the shelf; they’d tipped, then started to slide . . .

He reached over her head and grabbed them, his arms outside hers, his shoulders enclosing hers. They both froze, gripping the tin boxes, desperate not to let them clatter to the floor.

There was less than an inch between them.

Her perfume rose, wreathing his senses; her womanly warmth, clothed in soft, sensual flesh, teased them. The urge to close that small gap, to feel her lean against him, waxed strong.

He sensed the leap of her pulse, the sudden fluster that gripped her. He heard her indrawn breath, sensed her uncertainty—

Tilting his head, he touched his lips to her veiled temple. She stilled—the tension that gripped her changed in a flash from physical to sensual; from clinging to a physical pose, she was now teetering on a sensual precipice. He shifted, closing the gap between them until she stood stretched upward against him, touching but not pressing. Sliding his lips from her temple, caressing the line exposed by her back-swept hair, he dipped his head and traced the whorl of her ear, then slid his lips lower to tease and tantalize the sensitive spot below her lobe.

Skillfully he tempted her to ease her locked muscles and lean against him. The silk veil shifted beneath his lips, a secondary caress. She caught her breath on a shaky sob and held it; he bent his head and traced the long line of her throat until, at last, she exhaled. Tentatively, ready to take flight at the slightest sign, she let her shoulders ease against his upper chest.

Inwardly smiling in triumph, he angled his head upward, pressing gentle kisses into the hollow of her throat, encouraging her to raise her chin until finally her head tipped back against his shoulder. The warm curves of her back sank more definitely against him.

He wanted much more, but their hands were locked on the boxes still held high and he didn’t dare break the spell. She was sweetly responsive but oh-so-skittish, like a mare never gentled to a man’s hand. So he kept each caress simple, direct, unthreatening, and as each moment passed, she sank more definitely against him. The subtle warmth of her flowed over his hardness; he was aroused but held the pain at bay. It flashed into his mind that she was a castle he intended storming; his present victory was much like watching her drawbridge come down.

Eventually, she was leaning fully back against him. A fine tension still gripped her, but that derived more from fascinated anticipation than resistance. He pressed a firmer kiss in the hollow beneath her ear, and heard her shivery breath. A tremor shook her, followed by a shaky gasp.

“I’m going to drop these boxes.”

You see what I mean? It's subtle but you can feel the heat between the characters. It doesn't take page and pages to establish it either before returning to the plot. There needs to be a balance or the story just doesn't come off.

Now...let me see if I can find an equally hot MM scene I can quote....

[figwam]

Try Mya Lairis. She is the master of hot scenes without any excessive details.
Not sure which I like more "Obedience training" or "An Unnatural Worth".

I skip sex scenes if I feel they are excessive or ridiculous.

[Blue Moon]

I rarely read them too.

[chiya]

A lot of the sex scenes are just boring. Flat characters who do the same things.... - I just skip it. I hate especially the scenes with "big bad guy and stupid/sweet little woman/guy". I cannot believe, that such people really exist. I cannot believe, that anyone would feel, I don't really like this guy but this is so hot that I lie back and let him do. I also hate the books, where the main character acts against his real self because his/her family has different expectations. Who would do that?! I think, we are old enough and emancipated enough to stand up for our personality. So, I like books with interesting characters, such who are in front of a difficult situation, and they do their work and develop their personality. If there is sex with loving characters who act as equals, that's fine.

I prefer MM, because there is a higher possibility for eye-high acting people. And I thing the usual scenes of "woman lies there, does nothing and man is working" is just boring.

I like characters with real personalities. That means no flat, one-way-only personalities. People are not that simple. And interesting stories. The 1001th story about the poor gay who got a beating is just boring. And I like a logic story. Often, characters in the books act like no one would do. Not telling important informations, not looking for help, sometimes it is as if little children are acting. And then the books where I have the feeling, the important thig is meet one, sex, something for drawing tears and then getting together and sex. And the possible stories are not told, you sit there and think "half a book - it is not finished". That's unsatisfying.

Depends on my mood, novel and the frequency.

If they are having sex every other page, I'll skip, if there's a good lead up to it, I'll read.

I do read the sex scenes word for word IF the story has grabbed me and I feel so involved with the characters AND there has been some good tension/build up to the scene. If the sex scene takes place within an hour of meeting, then I skim it and if they keep have pages of sex at the drop of a hat (heck, even bunnies take a break!) I ignore the scene completely. That being said if there's an over abundance of sex I stop reading and find another story.

[Miss A]

So, I like books with interesting characters, such who are in front of a difficult situation, and they do their work and develop their personality.
...
Often, characters in the books act like no one would do. Not telling important informations, not looking for help, sometimes it is as if little children are acting.

Agreed. I actually had an extremely uncomfortable moment two days ago. I was reading the latest in a popular series, and actually thought, "These two don't even act like real people at all. They are like caricatures of children, who are talking about and having a sexual relationship." It was not a good feeling.

Otherwise, I mostly read the first 2 or 3, unless they are useful, funny, traumatic or unique in some way. And skim the rest. Though some writers are particularly good at sensualist writing. Where you get enough detail to mimic smell, hear, color or touch in your brain. Which can be fun.

[Teletube]

I totally agree, love the plots but don't really read the sex scenes, skim them to get back to the story!!

I mean truly read them (except when you are horny, of course. ) and feel that they add something to the plot of the story and don't just exist to add to word count?

It seems to me that in recent years as the erotica genre grows, the sex scenes in non-erotica romance books actually become less important; not needed for the purpose of plot. The majority of the time those scenes could be cut down to something along the line of having the couple begin to take off their clothes, do a cut scene, and have them basking in the aftermath without the plot suffering at all. To me, that is the definition of an unnecessary scene: it doesn't advance the plot in its current form. They really exist solely to give the book an "R" rating*.

I'll share a deep dark secret here: the majority of the time I just skim lightly through all of the sex regardless of gender/grouping to get back to the plot and don't feel I've missed a thing. Honestly...they all start to blur together after awhile as there are only so many ways to write about inserting tab A into various slots - it really takes some doing to catch my eye and get me to truly read a sex scene any more unless I'm just really "in the mood" so to speak (and for those times, I usually turn to erotica** )

In a romance book - heck, even in an erotica book - I believe the sex needs to actually add something to the plot - there needs to be a reason for all of the details other than to be arousing. A scar noticed that will be important later; an off-hand comment made; a fear that needs to be addressed - things that make it more than just a "time to get our rocks off" moment. It has to be more than just the author thinking "I've gone 15 pages with no sex, time for another multi-page sex scene" which seems to be the motivation for so many of them now.

I just don't think that as we move further and further into a time when sex - in all its variations - is no longer a taboo subject that we need to give up the concept of ROMANCE and LOVE. We as readers need to demand that RELATIONSHIP still drive the plot of our romance and erotica stories and not just situations where everything is just tabs and slots coming together for no purpose other than titillation (after all, we've got porn for that).

Okay...off my soapbox now.

*For non-Americans unfamiliar with our movie rating system, an "R" rating is considered a movie for "mature audiences" due to violence or sexual content.

**Even then most of the time I usually find myself more aroused by how the couple/group relate to each other outside of actual sex. The Tymber D@lton Deep Space Mission Corps MMMF books (highly recommended, btw) are a good example: you can SEE the caring and love that already exists between the three men and that is growing between them and the woman as they work with each other, meeting each others' needs and desires, and for me that means that when the sex scenes do take place it is a validation of the relationship(s) and not just a "hey, we're horny, let's have sex" situation.

I think, for me, it mostly depends on the author. If the sex scenes show intimacy or even have some *gasp* added plot, then I'm happy to read. But I also feel that there shouldn't be more than 2 or 3 scenes in a romance novel (generally) or it gets to much. Erotica is another thing, but I think that's meant be read differently.

Unfortunately a lot of mm authors just do not know how to write a good sex scene. Technically everything might be right (Or not, which is a whole other topic. Self-lubricating buttholes, anyone?), but it's just bland, like watersoup, almost forcing you to skip.
Oftentimes those coincide with other problems in the story making me dnf the whole book alltogether.

[ManiacBug]

What a great question! I used to crave the sex scenes. Now, like you I skim over them. You can tell when they are adding something to the story as opposed to being just a filler. The filler sex scenes are a waste. I'm off to investigate the Tymber D.

[Cadiva]

I mean truly read them

Urm, every book What can I say, I'm a completist.

I read them just in case there's a smart author who's going to use the sex to help the story. Some do and you get character development from how the two or three people having sex react and relate. Others suck at writing sex and you feel like they don't write the scenes at all but just use cut and paste to get them into the text.

Mercy Celete's Southern Scrimmage series (recommended reading order books 2,3,1,5) has some great sex scenes. I haven't read 4 yet and 6 is still being written. The sex tells you about the character's pasts, isn't boring and help you get a better understanding of why some characters act the way they do. And it's not all vanilla. Maris Black's Kage series and Heidi Cullinan's Nowhere Ranch are also interesting because the sex isn't vanilla. Kage is a series where you don't just read the sex scenes, you remember them. Cullinan writes some pretty extreme play. My problem with her story is that it's not that believable that the sex in her characters life is all bottled up and can even be put on a shelf and forgotten when something else comes along.

But as someone who reads them I can say that if you're someone who skims through the sex scenes you're really not missing much in most of the stuff that's out there now. Most of the sex is written by authors apparently on autopilot. The sex seems to be there because the publisher requires it and not because the author wants it to be part of the story. It would be nice if we could be offered and author's edit of book in the same way that studios offer a director's cut of movies. At least that way we'd have a better idea of who to blame when we read something that's a waste of time.

edit: Okay, I found an author I skip the sex scenes for. S.J. Frost has sex scenes that make up more than half the text in the book. The sex doesn't move the story along and isn't particularly realistic. It makes the story read faster to skip and I don't feel like I'm missing anything.