theduchessa is wondering why everyone here so obsessed with her gender.

theduchessa also wonders why LockHood keeps coming back to the same thing again and again and again.

is there something LockHood is trying to tell us in cryptic words?

[LockHood]

theduchessa is not paranoid

aha. see! LockHood is trying to change the topic again.

don't worry about it LockHood. you can tell us anything. we won't make fun of you.

much

[LockHood]

theduchessa was arrested for trying to steal a purple cow from siluasap's backyard .

i might or might not have been. but why don't you confess that it was you who tipped the cow over

theduchessa is a dude and thinks that LockHood's username is so because LockHood has vowed to Lock her maidenHood until she dies. Now theduchessa wants to win LockHood over by his charms and make her break the vow of chastity.

Who stole my purple cow that LockHood sent me as a present? Was it you, Leo Pacificus and theduchessa? Did you ate it for dinner as a raw stake? Don't look at me with those eyes of cow and don't try to deny the true - you both have purple skin!

[LockHood]

"Aww , siluasap, it's ok . I'll send you another purple cow " - said I .
"Forget the cow ! Try my new zombie soup !" - said staticborris .

But siluasap was inconsolable . She finally used her witch powers and cursed both Leo and theduchessa with 100 years of bad juju !

LockHood decided to demonstrate her culinary talents to Mobilism members and made a big pot of zombie-soup for today's lunch. She put in it some secret elvish plants to make it taste better. staticborris felt a wonderful smell, rushed to the pot and ate the soup all alone! The elvish plants in the soup had some unexpected effect on him, he's running now around the city chasing after imaginary zombies and frightening peaceful people:

theduchessa confesses that it her who stole the purple cows. but she must also confess that she only did it in the name of animal protection. as LockHood and siluasap were planning on dressing the cows like circus acrobats and forcing them to do an aerial show. the purple cows begged theduchessa to save them from the utter humiliation of wearing pink circus clothes. as the color pink does not go with their skin tone

[LockHood]

theduchessa is lying . she did not go to siluasap's backyard to rescue the cows . She was only pretending to steal the cows while in reality , she was after the cows' pink circus clothes ! She just wanted them for herself to wear and dance in front of the mirror

LockHood is telling us about her own fantasies

[LockHood]

My Elven intelligence department has just confirmed my suspicions .

theduchessa is none other than Gollum's secret girlfriend ! Hence her weird manner of speech . Here's a tiny transcript of their conversation my Elven spies recorded .

"Gollum : Smeagol has brought theduchessa fisshh ! Yess precious !
theduchessa : theduchessa is pleased indeed ! Good Smeagol always knows what to gift her "

[Tattle]

I am new here.

[LockHood]

Tattle left the forums because siluasap spammed his inbox .