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MEN'S BIATHLON 12.5KM PURSUIT #1516
Johannes Thingnes Bø

Day Seven of the Olympics out of Sixteen. 43% of the way through!
Today was a crazy day for me. I didn't feel well for no good reason, took a long nap, had to watch a few other TV shows or get behind on those, and I know I can't put off the Olympics because once you get behind you can't catch up. All you can do is hit that fast forward on your remote and skip on through. But I made it and now I can spend 20 minutes typing up my thoughts to bore the crap out of anybody who is looking for reading material on the porcelain throne at work.
There's no word on Kamila Valieva Gate as I guess we will generically call it. And it is that is not even the biggest shadow on these games. Vladimir Putin, like all dictators, is determined to stay in his regime and it will be interesting to see if he is willing to upset China's dictator Xi Jinping, by starting a war during China's big games. I'm hoping it's all BS but I fear he has backed himself into a corner and will now throw tens of thousands of innocent lives away to save face.
Meanwhile the Olympics turned hateful again towards the USA, the American athletes, and even me as you will soon see.
NBC brought us Speed skating 10K. 25 laps around the rink. The USA watched from the cheap seats as the Dutch surprisingly did not win gold, despite usually dominating these type of events. This event is 6.2 miles in length, which sounds long until you learn that some of these people skate in races that are upwards of 125 miles in length. Skating marathons I guess. Sweden would win it in a world record time of 12.30.74, or about the time it takes me to go a little over a half a mile on my elliptical.
We then went to women's Skeleton, or "Luge on your tummy head first." I'm pretty sure they call it Skeleton because a Skeleton was all that was left of the first dude to try it when he died. *rimtap They claim it's actually safer. If you say so. I actually looked it up last night on Wikipedia and it seemed like the USA and Canada have been dominating this. So I was like Yea! Skeleton might be cool.
It was not.
We may have been good once, but not anymore! After two heats the Women's USA team is at 8th and 18th so I'm pretty sure we are not winning this. You too Canada!
It is an interesting sport actually. You have to stir with your toes and wiggle action and even I guess bumping off the walls at times can be helpful, except when it isn't And going up on your side, not really a deal breaker, if you just lean back the other way and don't crash. What sucks though is that these Chinese are openly bragging that they have been down this run about 500 times each, to other peoples 40, so big advantage them. Who knows though, maybe one of these Americans will step it up. I still say crazies welcome to this sport. I guess if you start young enough, you are still to dumb to know any better. Or that's my take.
Then there was the Mens 15k which was like yesterdays women's race with far less screaming. Like 100 men do two laps at 30 second intervals. Why less screaming in your face? Not sure? Maybe they just won't put up with it. I mean they still scream, but just from further back. Which is not as fun now that I have seen it both ways. Once again America was not in it, and it was Finland, ROC, and Norway with bronze.
And NBC ruined the Short Track 1000M by showing us the results. Thanks NBC! WTF!
They also told us that our women' Curling team is 3-0 so Yeah curling!
And then I took a nap, because I'm not even athletic enough anymore to watch the Olympics straight through.
I don't know what it is about jumping that is so boring. Does anyone watch this? They oddly have 56 people, but have to narrow it down to 50. So they all jumped to shed six spots? That is weird. Right? Just go with 56! We had four and then lost one, so I'm not to sure if jumping down a hill is our thing either. I did learn that you want to jump into the wind, and not have it at your back, as that makes you go further which is one of those facts that I know if I tell it to any other person in my life, they will call me a liar and say I'm dumb. So I guess I'll keep this info to myself.
The mens 500m short track though is always fun to watch and it is Chaos! There is more penalties in this then an NFC East football game!
I did some thinking and based on how it all plays out, I'm pretty sure that this is the one event that you could game the system to a medal. You see, in all matches except for the last, you can advance by penalty. So as long as you can skate close enough to someone else and have them wipe YOU out, you can just keep advancing all the way to the finals. And then, in the finals, if you just hang back in last place, you could get the bronze as long as a few people wipe out. USA Ryan Pivirotto advances to the Quarterfinals and I guess we will see that tomorrow.
I bring that up because NBC finally got around to showing us the women's 1000m that they ruined earlier. Biney went out in the early rounds. Stoddard came in 4th, but American Kristen Santos went to the finals. For most of those 8 laps she looked great, and went to make an inside move and on the final lap, but got taken out by 10 time medalist Arianna Fontana of Italy who also wrecked, and that was that. The other three skated to victory with Netherlands Suzanne Schulting picking up the Gold, Choi of South Korea in Silver and then Hanne Desmet of Belguim getting bronze by default as no one else was left standing. And because it is the finals, tough noogies to Kristen Santos.
Basically had Kristen just hung back, she would have won some hardware. Crazy. I mean I now that's a weird crap strategy to embrace, but I've watched enough of these to know it's not a bad one. Just sayin. I mean I'll bet that Bronze would feel really good around the neck to Kristen right now. I know some will see that as a bug, but I think it's a feature, but that is just me.
NBC then showed us all the training runs of Downhill I guess to hype it for some reason. Mikalia looked good, but not great. Were not going to win this. We were like 9th, 14th and 22. But Mikalia was "chatty" as I'll call it. Like I just smoked a joint chatty. I guess when she's feeling good, she likes to explain things like I like to write. Super wordy!!! Good for her though.
Mens Skeleton, equally bad for us! Sigh! I don't get it. Were not good at this despite what Wikipedia says. It was the mens final and we lost. It may be called the House of Speed, but not for us. Germany took Gold and silver and China got bronze despite all those extra runs.
Wikipedia is just a liar man. Seriously.
And there was a dude Nathan Crumpton from America Samoa competing in it. He was that guy without the shirt on in the opening ceremony. Isn't there always a shirtless guy now though? Like four Olympics straight? Is that a new thing? I know American Samoan in the Olympics sounds cool, but just his grandmother is from there, so he is like a quarter I think? Right? Does that count? What's the rules here? I mean if my grandma had been from like Nauru, population 11,000, could I have been in the Olympics? I'm serious too. I'm not being a hater again. Honest. But isn't he also just 3/4 NOT American Samoan.
I mean I've seen where some people other people game the system. One skier in 2018, an American skier Elizabeth Swaney, who skied for Hungry and just attended, poorly attended events, gained points by default and that got her in. She did no tricks ever! Not even in the Olympics, because she couldn't really ski the half pipe! And they hated her for it. But Nathan is in it and they love him, and if you read the article, he not only had never even been to Samoa until 2019, he did zero races to get in these Olympics. He just asked and then payed a fee. At least Elizabeth actually attended and "skied" in her qualifying events.
Listen, I'm not bagging on this guy, honest! Good for him. Wish it was me. If I was 20 years younger, I would have 100% have done it too. Power to the people! Down with the system!
But a quarter Samoan? You don't have to even be half?
Sigh! OK. Fine. Why not! I mean it's belly sledding so more he merrier I guess. What do I care, were not even good at it here in regular America. What do I care who competes. I don't.
And the late show gave us Women's 7.5K biathlon. Three laps, two shooting stations, five shots, penalty loop in play for missed shots and we were not even close again. I think our top person was 26th and NBC did not care enough to show us where the other Americans placed, and if they don't care, why should I. It was still fun to watch though because it's Biathlon.
No, the big show tonight was all about making ME look dumb! The Olympics are so hateful to me!
Yesterday I bagged on mixed events where men and women teamed up to win more medals and made a few lame jokes. It's what I do.
And then Me, Mr funnyman talked about Nick Baumgartner, and how emotional he got as he realized his career was done, but he would fight on, and I was all like "Nope! Your 40 bro! Dream on!". Boy did they shut me up tonight!
In all fairness, even Baumgartner did not know that they, for first time ever, have Mixed Cross. Like he had not a single clue! Zero clues!
So mixed is a team event of one man, one women, man goes first, and the women start off delayed by how ever far back the men were on their run when they finished. So it's a staggered start on the women's run. Got that? Good!
And wouldn't you know it, Baumgartner was paired up with the GOAT of snowboard Cross, Lindsey Jacobellis, fresh off her Gold medal win. Talk about waking up with a lucky horseshoe up your butt! I mean seriously. This is like if you just right now, were like stocking shelves at Kroger and got the call, "Hey, are you free this Sunday? We need you to play in LA in the Super Bowl? Are you available by any chance?"
Uh, Yeah!
We actually had two teams in there. Jake Vedder was with Faye Gulini and it was a no go. Young inexperienced Darth Vedder crashed and lost lots of time, and the time gap he put Faye in was just to much for her to overcome. She actually came close but no cigar and they ended up third in the Quarters
40 year old Baumgartner looked great though! You could really see the determination on his face at every step. He clearly was so grateful for the opportunity to live his dream of winning a medal in the Olympics. And let's face it, he has nothing but experience. I mean he's 40! So old! Did I mention that!
In the quarter finals he kept it tight, came in second. Lindsey who is 36 years old herself hung back and then took control and came in first easily. Then in the Semi Finals Baumgartner was just .03 back and Lindsey hung back again, the Swiss went down, and she cruised across in second and BOOM, there in the finals.
You could really see Baumgartner tasting the possibility of victory now. I mean he literally licked his lips when she came through across the finish line in the Simi finals. I mean I don't know if I have ever seen someone like that in the Olympics. He had one last unexpected chance to win a medal and he was so siked and happy and on edge. I mean it really made you at home happy for him. I found myself far more emotionally invested then I normally would be for snowboard Cross, that's for sure.
I also figured out why the probably do the small finals for 5th through 8th. The announcers didn't want to say, but it's doping, right? I mean who juices in snowboarding cross, but IF they did, I guess they need to know where to send the medal.
So the finals finally came, two Italian teams and Canada, and while I'm normally all about that gold, I was willing to settle for even bronze if that meant Baumgartner could get a medal. Because I'm laid back like that.
I mean I really wanted it for this guy. The camera kept cutting back to all of his friends and family and the dog and then a close up shot of his face where you could just see him in his own head dancing at the finish line. He had 3/4 chance of a medal just by being there.
Baumgartner came out slow, 2 seconds back for a while but this man was on a mission. This was easily his best race of the games and he came across in first. So now all we needed was Lindsey, the GOAT of cross to do was do what she does. Win. Easy. Right?
I think they showed him as often as the race. I mean this guy was on the edge. The old man, 40 years old, grey in his beard, Mr "You haven't seen the last of me!" Just a few days ago, and now here he is, a medal insight. One of the Italians even put his arm around him during Lindseys run as he cheered her on. You could tell that everyone knew just how much he wanted it. It was a really sweet moment.
So how did it turn out?
THEY LOST!
HAHAHAHA!
No, they won.
Lindsey hung back, watched a few crash, made her move on the second to last turn, sailed to victory and Baumgartner got that win he had been craving his whole career. Gold baby! And Lindsey got her second one as well. So the two oldest snowboarders at the Olympics beat everyone else and Italy got Silver, and Canada the bronze. It was a really nice moment and even I teared up. It's these moments that make a person glad they were there to watch and share in them. It's what makes the Olympics great.
Finally, I will also say that maybe I was to harsh on the Men's Hockey team. There not looking to bad. They beat Canada in that all important prelim game that means so much to all of us, have two solid wins, Canada who has a solid win, so ergo, our victory means were not crap, and while I think Russia is going to be to tough to beat, I've looked at the bracketing, and if they can win there first Quarterfinals, then they have like a 3/4's chance at a medal. So yea, were back in it! Go Mens Ice Soccer! I'm not sure if we can go gold, but I'm thinking silver or bronze maybe, and that's OK.
bye!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL1OvGEf5W8
Lindsey Jacobellis and Nick Baumgartner Win Gold!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P67L67ML3wk
Nick Baumgartner is so on the edge!

Lindsey Jacobellis and Nick Baumgartner


I really hope so.

Johannes Thingnes Bø

Day Seven of the Olympics out of Sixteen. 43% of the way through!
Today was a crazy day for me. I didn't feel well for no good reason, took a long nap, had to watch a few other TV shows or get behind on those, and I know I can't put off the Olympics because once you get behind you can't catch up. All you can do is hit that fast forward on your remote and skip on through. But I made it and now I can spend 20 minutes typing up my thoughts to bore the crap out of anybody who is looking for reading material on the porcelain throne at work.
There's no word on Kamila Valieva Gate as I guess we will generically call it. And it is that is not even the biggest shadow on these games. Vladimir Putin, like all dictators, is determined to stay in his regime and it will be interesting to see if he is willing to upset China's dictator Xi Jinping, by starting a war during China's big games. I'm hoping it's all BS but I fear he has backed himself into a corner and will now throw tens of thousands of innocent lives away to save face.
Meanwhile the Olympics turned hateful again towards the USA, the American athletes, and even me as you will soon see.
NBC brought us Speed skating 10K. 25 laps around the rink. The USA watched from the cheap seats as the Dutch surprisingly did not win gold, despite usually dominating these type of events. This event is 6.2 miles in length, which sounds long until you learn that some of these people skate in races that are upwards of 125 miles in length. Skating marathons I guess. Sweden would win it in a world record time of 12.30.74, or about the time it takes me to go a little over a half a mile on my elliptical.
We then went to women's Skeleton, or "Luge on your tummy head first." I'm pretty sure they call it Skeleton because a Skeleton was all that was left of the first dude to try it when he died. *rimtap They claim it's actually safer. If you say so. I actually looked it up last night on Wikipedia and it seemed like the USA and Canada have been dominating this. So I was like Yea! Skeleton might be cool.
It was not.
We may have been good once, but not anymore! After two heats the Women's USA team is at 8th and 18th so I'm pretty sure we are not winning this. You too Canada!
It is an interesting sport actually. You have to stir with your toes and wiggle action and even I guess bumping off the walls at times can be helpful, except when it isn't And going up on your side, not really a deal breaker, if you just lean back the other way and don't crash. What sucks though is that these Chinese are openly bragging that they have been down this run about 500 times each, to other peoples 40, so big advantage them. Who knows though, maybe one of these Americans will step it up. I still say crazies welcome to this sport. I guess if you start young enough, you are still to dumb to know any better. Or that's my take.
Then there was the Mens 15k which was like yesterdays women's race with far less screaming. Like 100 men do two laps at 30 second intervals. Why less screaming in your face? Not sure? Maybe they just won't put up with it. I mean they still scream, but just from further back. Which is not as fun now that I have seen it both ways. Once again America was not in it, and it was Finland, ROC, and Norway with bronze.
And NBC ruined the Short Track 1000M by showing us the results. Thanks NBC! WTF!
They also told us that our women' Curling team is 3-0 so Yeah curling!
And then I took a nap, because I'm not even athletic enough anymore to watch the Olympics straight through.
I don't know what it is about jumping that is so boring. Does anyone watch this? They oddly have 56 people, but have to narrow it down to 50. So they all jumped to shed six spots? That is weird. Right? Just go with 56! We had four and then lost one, so I'm not to sure if jumping down a hill is our thing either. I did learn that you want to jump into the wind, and not have it at your back, as that makes you go further which is one of those facts that I know if I tell it to any other person in my life, they will call me a liar and say I'm dumb. So I guess I'll keep this info to myself.
The mens 500m short track though is always fun to watch and it is Chaos! There is more penalties in this then an NFC East football game!
I did some thinking and based on how it all plays out, I'm pretty sure that this is the one event that you could game the system to a medal. You see, in all matches except for the last, you can advance by penalty. So as long as you can skate close enough to someone else and have them wipe YOU out, you can just keep advancing all the way to the finals. And then, in the finals, if you just hang back in last place, you could get the bronze as long as a few people wipe out. USA Ryan Pivirotto advances to the Quarterfinals and I guess we will see that tomorrow.
I bring that up because NBC finally got around to showing us the women's 1000m that they ruined earlier. Biney went out in the early rounds. Stoddard came in 4th, but American Kristen Santos went to the finals. For most of those 8 laps she looked great, and went to make an inside move and on the final lap, but got taken out by 10 time medalist Arianna Fontana of Italy who also wrecked, and that was that. The other three skated to victory with Netherlands Suzanne Schulting picking up the Gold, Choi of South Korea in Silver and then Hanne Desmet of Belguim getting bronze by default as no one else was left standing. And because it is the finals, tough noogies to Kristen Santos.
Basically had Kristen just hung back, she would have won some hardware. Crazy. I mean I now that's a weird crap strategy to embrace, but I've watched enough of these to know it's not a bad one. Just sayin. I mean I'll bet that Bronze would feel really good around the neck to Kristen right now. I know some will see that as a bug, but I think it's a feature, but that is just me.
NBC then showed us all the training runs of Downhill I guess to hype it for some reason. Mikalia looked good, but not great. Were not going to win this. We were like 9th, 14th and 22. But Mikalia was "chatty" as I'll call it. Like I just smoked a joint chatty. I guess when she's feeling good, she likes to explain things like I like to write. Super wordy!!! Good for her though.
Mens Skeleton, equally bad for us! Sigh! I don't get it. Were not good at this despite what Wikipedia says. It was the mens final and we lost. It may be called the House of Speed, but not for us. Germany took Gold and silver and China got bronze despite all those extra runs.
Wikipedia is just a liar man. Seriously.
And there was a dude Nathan Crumpton from America Samoa competing in it. He was that guy without the shirt on in the opening ceremony. Isn't there always a shirtless guy now though? Like four Olympics straight? Is that a new thing? I know American Samoan in the Olympics sounds cool, but just his grandmother is from there, so he is like a quarter I think? Right? Does that count? What's the rules here? I mean if my grandma had been from like Nauru, population 11,000, could I have been in the Olympics? I'm serious too. I'm not being a hater again. Honest. But isn't he also just 3/4 NOT American Samoan.
I mean I've seen where some people other people game the system. One skier in 2018, an American skier Elizabeth Swaney, who skied for Hungry and just attended, poorly attended events, gained points by default and that got her in. She did no tricks ever! Not even in the Olympics, because she couldn't really ski the half pipe! And they hated her for it. But Nathan is in it and they love him, and if you read the article, he not only had never even been to Samoa until 2019, he did zero races to get in these Olympics. He just asked and then payed a fee. At least Elizabeth actually attended and "skied" in her qualifying events.
Listen, I'm not bagging on this guy, honest! Good for him. Wish it was me. If I was 20 years younger, I would have 100% have done it too. Power to the people! Down with the system!
But a quarter Samoan? You don't have to even be half?
Sigh! OK. Fine. Why not! I mean it's belly sledding so more he merrier I guess. What do I care, were not even good at it here in regular America. What do I care who competes. I don't.
And the late show gave us Women's 7.5K biathlon. Three laps, two shooting stations, five shots, penalty loop in play for missed shots and we were not even close again. I think our top person was 26th and NBC did not care enough to show us where the other Americans placed, and if they don't care, why should I. It was still fun to watch though because it's Biathlon.
No, the big show tonight was all about making ME look dumb! The Olympics are so hateful to me!
Yesterday I bagged on mixed events where men and women teamed up to win more medals and made a few lame jokes. It's what I do.
And then Me, Mr funnyman talked about Nick Baumgartner, and how emotional he got as he realized his career was done, but he would fight on, and I was all like "Nope! Your 40 bro! Dream on!". Boy did they shut me up tonight!
In all fairness, even Baumgartner did not know that they, for first time ever, have Mixed Cross. Like he had not a single clue! Zero clues!
So mixed is a team event of one man, one women, man goes first, and the women start off delayed by how ever far back the men were on their run when they finished. So it's a staggered start on the women's run. Got that? Good!
And wouldn't you know it, Baumgartner was paired up with the GOAT of snowboard Cross, Lindsey Jacobellis, fresh off her Gold medal win. Talk about waking up with a lucky horseshoe up your butt! I mean seriously. This is like if you just right now, were like stocking shelves at Kroger and got the call, "Hey, are you free this Sunday? We need you to play in LA in the Super Bowl? Are you available by any chance?"
Uh, Yeah!
We actually had two teams in there. Jake Vedder was with Faye Gulini and it was a no go. Young inexperienced Darth Vedder crashed and lost lots of time, and the time gap he put Faye in was just to much for her to overcome. She actually came close but no cigar and they ended up third in the Quarters
40 year old Baumgartner looked great though! You could really see the determination on his face at every step. He clearly was so grateful for the opportunity to live his dream of winning a medal in the Olympics. And let's face it, he has nothing but experience. I mean he's 40! So old! Did I mention that!
In the quarter finals he kept it tight, came in second. Lindsey who is 36 years old herself hung back and then took control and came in first easily. Then in the Semi Finals Baumgartner was just .03 back and Lindsey hung back again, the Swiss went down, and she cruised across in second and BOOM, there in the finals.
You could really see Baumgartner tasting the possibility of victory now. I mean he literally licked his lips when she came through across the finish line in the Simi finals. I mean I don't know if I have ever seen someone like that in the Olympics. He had one last unexpected chance to win a medal and he was so siked and happy and on edge. I mean it really made you at home happy for him. I found myself far more emotionally invested then I normally would be for snowboard Cross, that's for sure.
I also figured out why the probably do the small finals for 5th through 8th. The announcers didn't want to say, but it's doping, right? I mean who juices in snowboarding cross, but IF they did, I guess they need to know where to send the medal.
So the finals finally came, two Italian teams and Canada, and while I'm normally all about that gold, I was willing to settle for even bronze if that meant Baumgartner could get a medal. Because I'm laid back like that.
I mean I really wanted it for this guy. The camera kept cutting back to all of his friends and family and the dog and then a close up shot of his face where you could just see him in his own head dancing at the finish line. He had 3/4 chance of a medal just by being there.
Baumgartner came out slow, 2 seconds back for a while but this man was on a mission. This was easily his best race of the games and he came across in first. So now all we needed was Lindsey, the GOAT of cross to do was do what she does. Win. Easy. Right?
I think they showed him as often as the race. I mean this guy was on the edge. The old man, 40 years old, grey in his beard, Mr "You haven't seen the last of me!" Just a few days ago, and now here he is, a medal insight. One of the Italians even put his arm around him during Lindseys run as he cheered her on. You could tell that everyone knew just how much he wanted it. It was a really sweet moment.
So how did it turn out?
THEY LOST!
HAHAHAHA!
No, they won.
Lindsey hung back, watched a few crash, made her move on the second to last turn, sailed to victory and Baumgartner got that win he had been craving his whole career. Gold baby! And Lindsey got her second one as well. So the two oldest snowboarders at the Olympics beat everyone else and Italy got Silver, and Canada the bronze. It was a really nice moment and even I teared up. It's these moments that make a person glad they were there to watch and share in them. It's what makes the Olympics great.
Finally, I will also say that maybe I was to harsh on the Men's Hockey team. There not looking to bad. They beat Canada in that all important prelim game that means so much to all of us, have two solid wins, Canada who has a solid win, so ergo, our victory means were not crap, and while I think Russia is going to be to tough to beat, I've looked at the bracketing, and if they can win there first Quarterfinals, then they have like a 3/4's chance at a medal. So yea, were back in it! Go Mens Ice Soccer! I'm not sure if we can go gold, but I'm thinking silver or bronze maybe, and that's OK.
bye!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL1OvGEf5W8
Lindsey Jacobellis and Nick Baumgartner Win Gold!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P67L67ML3wk
Nick Baumgartner is so on the edge!

Lindsey Jacobellis and Nick Baumgartner


I really hope so.

Testing, one, two, three.
Everything I post is always in good humor and fun.
Unless I'm on my soapbox screaming out crazy, and then well......
Everything I post is always in good humor and fun.
Unless I'm on my soapbox screaming out crazy, and then well......
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Have a chance
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I really miss the nonfictional audiobook posts of Mobilism's legendary audiobook uploader SahastraBrahmand & another such uploader, MySuThrillDUDE!!! PLEASE come back!!! Missing your posts!!!
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Johannes Thingnes Bø
Johannes Thingnes Bø




