A fellow caddy and myself recently helped two aged Germans around our course.
Failing yet again to get the ball in the air the worst golfer of the pair exclaimed, “I suppose you have never seen any player worse than me?”
My friend the caddy replied, “There are plenty worse than you sir but they all quit playing years ago.”
There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly … or start cheating.
A golfer standing on a tee overlooking a river sees a couple of fishermen and says to his partner, “Look at those two idiots fishing in the rain.”
Two pastors, one Catholic and one Protestant, and a Jewish rabbi were part of a threesome one day on the course. The groups ahead of them was playing slow, terrible golf and weren’t gesturing for a play-through. After several holes of this agonizingly slow golf the three clerics began to get very impatient, each muttering his own curses upon the group ahead of them. Soon the Marshall came around, and was hailed down by the holy men who shouted, “We’re sick of being held-up by these yahoos ahead of us who won’t allow us to play through!”
The Marshall stated, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but those men are both deaf and blind.”
The Protestant cried, “Oh, Jesus, forgive me for my bad thoughts and cursing upon those poor souls.”
The Catholic cried, “Oh forgive me, Mary, for my bad thoughts and cursing upon those poor souls.”
The rabbi shouted, “So why can’t they play at night!?”
The Marshall stated, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but those men are both deaf and blind.”
The Protestant cried, “Oh, Jesus, forgive me for my bad thoughts and cursing upon those poor souls.”
The Catholic cried, “Oh forgive me, Mary, for my bad thoughts and cursing upon those poor souls.”
The rabbi shouted, “So why can’t they play at night!?”
