In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
When is it too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
When your golf cart capsizes.
Last edited by angellove0810 on Apr 16th, 2021, 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
What did one golf ball say to the other golf ball?
See you roud!
Imaginary Golf
Two golfers join up at the first tee and each explains that due to a psychological problem, they play slightly differently than most golfers.
The soon learn that they both have the same doctor who has prescribed a game of golf using an imaginary golf ball to reduce stress. And so they tee off with their imaginary balls.
After a day of splitting fairways and hitting nothing less then eagles, birdies and pars, they reach the 18th hole.. The first one indicates
because they are equal in their score that he should hit first.
So he tees off with his imaginary ball.
"Look at that, a beautiful shot just on the edge of the green"
The second guy hits his imaginary ball and indicates that it has also landed on the edge next to the other ball. The first guy lines up and drains his 20-footer to the bottom of the cup.
"You wouldn't believe it, my ball just rolled into the cup, I win."
The second guy responds, "You won't believe it either, you just hit my ball."
Two golfers join up at the first tee and each explains that due to a psychological problem, they play slightly differently than most golfers.
The soon learn that they both have the same doctor who has prescribed a game of golf using an imaginary golf ball to reduce stress. And so they tee off with their imaginary balls.
After a day of splitting fairways and hitting nothing less then eagles, birdies and pars, they reach the 18th hole.. The first one indicates
because they are equal in their score that he should hit first.
So he tees off with his imaginary ball.
"Look at that, a beautiful shot just on the edge of the green"
The second guy hits his imaginary ball and indicates that it has also landed on the edge next to the other ball. The first guy lines up and drains his 20-footer to the bottom of the cup.
"You wouldn't believe it, my ball just rolled into the cup, I win."
The second guy responds, "You won't believe it either, you just hit my ball."
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Any birdie will do.
Heaven Or Hell
An ardent golfer dies and finds himself at the pearly gates.
St. Peter tells the man he has lived an exemplary life and he can go right in.
The man asks, "St. Peter, where is the golf course?"
"I'm terribly sorry," replies St. Peter, "but that's one thing we don't have here."
The man turns and decides that he will see if the situation is any better in hell. On the road to hell, he is greeted by the devil who has already heard of the golfer's rejection of heaven.
"This way, sir," says the devil, "the finest tournament-quality 18 holes you are likely to find this side of Augusta, Georgia."
The golfer looks around and agrees that it is the finest course he has ever seen and decides he'd rather spend eternity there than in heaven, so he signs up for the full package.
"So," he says to the devil, "why don't you go get me some clubs and balls and I'll have the game of my after-life."
"I'm sorry, sir, we don't have any."
"What?" says the man. "No balls or clubs for a fine course like this?"
"No, sir," says the devil fiendishly, "that's the hell of it."
An ardent golfer dies and finds himself at the pearly gates.
St. Peter tells the man he has lived an exemplary life and he can go right in.
The man asks, "St. Peter, where is the golf course?"
"I'm terribly sorry," replies St. Peter, "but that's one thing we don't have here."
The man turns and decides that he will see if the situation is any better in hell. On the road to hell, he is greeted by the devil who has already heard of the golfer's rejection of heaven.
"This way, sir," says the devil, "the finest tournament-quality 18 holes you are likely to find this side of Augusta, Georgia."
The golfer looks around and agrees that it is the finest course he has ever seen and decides he'd rather spend eternity there than in heaven, so he signs up for the full package.
"So," he says to the devil, "why don't you go get me some clubs and balls and I'll have the game of my after-life."
"I'm sorry, sir, we don't have any."
"What?" says the man. "No balls or clubs for a fine course like this?"
"No, sir," says the devil fiendishly, "that's the hell of it."